No time to waste

I could kick this bad world’s ass

if I could just get on my feet

(Bon Jovi)

Dear, good morning.

Before I fell asleep, I had sort of a revelation about the deepest and darkest part of myself. The most powerful and stupid side of myself I was yet to discover. I had a lot of thoughts about it, and either the night has wiped them from my brain or it has rearranged them in a pleasurable order. We will see.

So, what was this deep and dark, powerful side? It was a side that said, with all force ‘I do not understand’. It was the ultimate defense, the ultimate denial. It was perhaps the great and famous ego, the barrier unto the unconscious. That which creates the human unconsciousness, and that which I have accused and tried to slaughter and overcome, in myself and in every last one member of my shameful race.

‘I do not understand.’ How easy a refuge it is to claim we are stupid in our last defense. Me, oh, I don’t know, I am just a dumb ass, I do not understand. Whilst in fact, we understand far too well.

But let us assume that it is not just conscious hypocrisy playing here, let us assume that this attitude of ‘I do not understand’, which is stubborn and frustrating to deal with, really is something that plagues man, even though perhaps, he would like to do better.

Ah, well, on the other hand, maybe it just isn’t something that deserves sympathy. Do you think human stupidity deserves compassion? Or do you think we should fight it and rage against it? I am more inclined to rage. I am more inclined to go insane hitting a brick wall instead of an understanding soul. How easy it is to hide behind ignorance, to wash your hands in the wells of innocence. I do not know, I hear nothing, see nothing, I know nothing, I am innocent, I am just stupid. I have no opinion, I have no balls, I have no backbone. I am just a bystander, I do not know anything of it. In fact, I have not even seen what I have seen or heard what I have heard.

It is exactly this dumbing of the senses that is the game of the ego. It occupies the channels of our awareness, and dims the life and light flowing through them. It is a shield that seems protective but is rather harmful to the human kind. It is a shield that leads to a false identity, a fake personality, an incomplete expression of the universal soul. And it hinders and vetoes our intelligent nature herself.

For we are beings of nature, and nature, for all the bits and pieces we have come to understand, is nothing less than pure intelligence. The parts, the whole, it is so knowing and so intelligently adapting and behaving, that we must see it is sensitive. Nature is sensitively intelligent. It lives, it breathes, it changes and evolves, through a grand awareness it seems of the whole through each and every part.

I am kind of strange, I know, but let me tell you what I think. I think at first there was the cosmos, filled with stars communicating. And the stars said let us find a way that we can touch each other, and so they created life on earth, to live in. At first there was the grass, and the grass was the exemplification of the fact that the barren earth contained a spirit that was pushing upwards and freshly alive. And then, there was my dog. My dog is nature showing her spirit of joy, love and ecstasy. Through my dog, nature shows herself as being full of fun and the nicest emotionality. And my dog… do you know what I saw recently?

I saw a little movie of a man who wanted to see what his dog would do if he pretended he was drowning. So he went into a pond and started acting like he was drowning. And his dog put two and two together, he came running to the shore, jumped into the water and swam to his boss’s side. He bit his collar and dragged his owner to the shore.

You see, nature is intelligent, nature understands. But we, who are in fact a creation of the cosmos so the stars could touch and stroke each other, we act so dumb that we have to wonder where our sensitivity is gone, where our minds are at, and whether we have a heart at all.

Nature is full of sensitivity, nature is full of the heart. But man, man does not understand, man does not know, man is deaf, dumb and blind, and that is his reassurance, his safety and his mask. Man is insensitive, to his eyes, his ears, and to his heart. Our dog may put two and two together and jump in to save his boss, but man would doubt everything about the situation. ‘Are you drowning? Are you sure? How do you know? Can you prove it? How does it feel?’ and man would forever not act from his heart, his senses and intelligence. Man doubts, man loves to doubt.

In fact, in psychoanalysis, this is called the passion for ignorance. It is the desire to keep our intelligence dead, to keep our senses numb, and to keep our bodies frozen. We dare not understand, we dare not feel, we dare not move. We dare not act. This is another thing in psychoanalysis, where it is sometimes said you are healed when you have come to ‘act’. In fact, I see some sense in this statement.

So what is keeping us from acting?

I believe it is in a large way, propaganda. Propaganda flows into our life from every media and multimedia channel around us, and it is feeding our passion for ignorance. It is keeping us thoroughly unaware, and we are happy. We are fine with that! That is just the way we like it. Just let me continue not to know, just let me perpetuate this state of being unaware, of not having to see and hear and touch and smell reality, just let me be intoxicated by the fumes you ingest me with so that I am in a constant state of sleep. And please, do not confront me with reality. Do not show me what goes on behind the scenes. I don’t know and moreover, I don’t want to know. I don’t care.

So the elite, the wealthy controlling the media and the politicians make sure the people are disinformed, uninformed, given games and tv shows full of glamour and glitter. They play shows all day long and all night. They have distractions, drugs, booze, football and hookers, all endlessly lined up to keep the people from waking up. And the people love it! The people wouldn’t want it any other way. They like the illusions, they like the veil keeping reality elsewhere, they like the blindfolds and the earplugs. They do not want to know.

They buy the consumerism.

Perhaps they are afraid they would feel guilty if they knew. Perhaps they would feel responsible. Perhaps they would want to act. Perhaps they would want to protest.

Of course, some do act, and some do protest. Some investigate and some seek to educate themselves and find out what is really happening in the world. It may be a Greta Thunberg, it may be a Julian Assange protesting the dirty business of big money politics, hell, in our country the leftist party is constantly hammering on this fact in the face of the establishment. They say ‘you don’t know, do you?’. They challenge the mask of the politicians who earn more than enough money to pay for everything they could possibly want, and they prosecute them for the taxes they invent and the way they make the poor man ever poorer and deeper in debt, struggling to keep his head above all of the shit his life is only about. They bring testimonies, letters and mails from the common people, suffering, and they are laughed at. They are called populists. You see, they say ‘for you paying some more for this or that, it is nothing is it? You don’t feel it! But for the common man, it brings great difficulty. Listen to this…’ And they are ignored, and their mics are shut down.

Because they don’t want to know!

They don’t know and they don’t want to know!

And I think the greatest danger is that the masses, the crowd, the majority of the electing population, also prefers the comfort of the not knowing. As Tindersticks sing ‘the not knowing is easy’. They prefer the tv shows, the series and the talk shows, the commercials and the propaganda, and just never mind. They don’t care. They just want to sleep until they are dead. They don’t want to live, they don’t want to be intelligent, sensitive, aware and acting. They don’t want to live, they don’t want to exist.

They just want to be numb, stupefied, drugged and kept in a kind of a coma by their tv screens, screaming all the time ‘you have won!’ and showing the beauty of their way of life in celebrations on new year’s eve full of glitter, glamour, richness, make-up and style.

It is all so fake!

It makes me want to puke.

And the people smile, and the people are happy, and no one is watching the movies about the slave labor in the cocoa industry, and no one is watching the documentary about the sweatshops in Jamaica. No one cares if industrial waste is just dumped into the river stream and finding an alternative to the plastic soup is only a pressing issue for a small minority.

All the rest just keeps on going. All the rest of the sheep are just treading where the wolf is leading them. They are kept in line, if not by propaganda, then by the police.

It is difficult, the blind leading the blind. And to those opening their eyes, it seems such impossible a task to wake their neighbors up, to overthrow the government, to fuck the police and to eat the elite. But that is what we should do! We should not be more stupid than our beloved dog. We should put two and two together, and jump in the water, and act.

That will prove we are healed, that will be a sign we have gotten out of the sickness.

It will show we have woken up.

To see, to hear, and to educate ourselves. To investigate, and to blow the whistle. To pull up the veil and reveal the naked truth. To make a documentary, about the oceans, about pollution, poisoning, the sweatshops and the slave labor. We should care, and we should want to know.

I have no tv. A good thing, or I would have smashed it with the first brick I found long ago. How can you waste your time with a broad smile on your face just killing yourself with propaganda and taking it all in like sweets, whilst all the while there are these urgent matters, these burning fires that must be addressed? There is so much to do, so much needs to change, and everyone is just watching their next episode on Netflix. Everyone is playing board games passing time, wasting it, because hell, what else is there to do? We are comfortable, we are at peace, everything is all right…

It’s not!

And there ain’t no time to waste.

We should all be raging all about the place, as if the ship was going down, trying to save what we can save, trying to save our lives, our loved ones, our pets and who knows perhaps the ship itself.

We can’t all go down sleeping?!

Because that is what they want. That is what they want! The elite, the politicians, controlling the media, commanding the police. That is what they want, it’s just for us to die and never mind. Because we do not understand they are killing us, and we don’t want to understand.

We do not care that they are killing us!

My god, if that was why the universe created man it must have a sick sense of humor.

You think the stars came up with such a plan, you think this is the lively spirit of the grass, the humorous and endlessly wonderful intelligence of my dog? You think that is what the world’s about, not caring whether you live or die? Just vanish like a piece of shit that’s flushed down the drain? Passively, without resisting?

When I was eighteen, there was this band called Sepultura and they had this wonderful cd called ‘Chaos A.D.’. Their first song was called ‘refuse/resist’. Other songs on that album were for example ‘slave new world’, (war for)’territory’, and ‘propaganda’. It was a heavy metal band from Brazil, and not everyone liked their sound, but to me, it was the most heavenly of tunes.

We need to wake up, I am telling you, because you may want to die with that ignorant smile on your façade just watching Netflix, but I will not have lived before I have given it all the fight raging in my veins.

And don’t tell me to shut up!

I know, you don’t want to know.

Hell, I’m telling you anyway.

Wake up!

Wake up!

Wake up!

Let’s kick some ass.

For Christ’s sake.

For heaven’s sake.

For God’s sake.

For our sake.

For your sake, for my sake.

For everyone’s sake.

Refuse!

Resist!

You must care to know, you must want to know, and somewhere, maybe deep within and buried underneath the everyday charade, you know what, I bet you do know.

I bet you are guilty.

We can’t all be innocent bystanders who have seen nothing.

We are intelligent, and we owe it to our dog to put two and two together. We owe it to the grass, we owe it to the earth and we owe it to the stars.

Please wake up, please, come home.

Be there.

For I will be.