Take the power back

It is with self-amazement that I find myself writing again. I thought the well of inspiration had run dry, but something eventually did come up. And it’s not a pretty thing.

It is a tiny amount of frustration, about the size of an atom to be spliced in an attempt at realizing a result of creative destruction.

So what do I want to destruct?

What don’t I want to destruct?

Haha!

You see, when I was younger, barely an adult human being, I used to be a die-hard hard rocker. I am talking twenty-five years ago, when I was full of dreams of freedom and riding my bike to the tunes of highway to hell and born to be wild.

Of course I had a lot of friends in the same spirit. We frequented the local hard rock café, the Camargue, where André would pour out the beers and David would keep the speakers blasting with the roughest and toughest metal guitars.

It was truly a wild spirit, and I absorbed it with fulfillment and delight.

I got the title for this piece from Rage against the Machine, and I might as well have chosen a song from another band, Sepultura for example, calling this piece refuse, resist.

It was all about saying fuck you to the system.

And doing it your own way.

Hell, it may not be so metal, but yes, I could have quoted Frank Sinatra for all it matters.

So that was twenty-five years ago, and where are all my metalheads these days?

They are all sitting at their desk, pleasing their boss, priding themselves in their cash and living with their wife, kids and a dog.

Not so tough anymore hey!

I guess they grew up.

Like good schoolchildren, they learned their lessons well.

So what lessons? What is the thing I seem to be having such a hard time with trying to grasp and understand?

For I am at my own home desk, still yelling fuck you to the system every way I can, and I have no cash whatsoever, my wife is dead and I had to give my dog away because I was always on the road and couldn’t give her any certainty or routine.

Don’t worry, she landed in a good place.

The only dream I ever had about me and my dog was the both of us lying on the ground in some metropolitan underground railway station with a beggar’s cup in front of us.

But in some way, I wasn’t fully convinced that was the way to go.

So what lessons?

Well, the world is a dark and harsh environment.

To most people.

To some it is paradise.

Some have it all.

Some have the world in their pockets.

They control the money, they control the news, they control politics and public opinion, they control education and they control every move you make.

So I still believe I was right twenty-five years ago, we got to refuse, resist and take the power back.

But how? Is there a way?

I have come to see it is not simple.

If I were to be into chemical warfare, or biological warfare, or explosives or whatever kind of destructive ambition lies within that realm, chances are someone would come up to me and say, hey, wanna work for the government? We’ll give you everything you need.

But if you are in the business of personal freedom, truth and planetary sanity, they try to make it impossible for you to make a move.

They don’t say, hey, your work could benefit us all, we’ll give you the space and the resources to do your research and write your books. We’ll give you people to work with, and we’ll give you all the help you can use. With such promising ambitions, we see great promise in you and we’ll make sure you have the wind in your sails. Keep going son, we need more people like you!

No they don’t.

They don’t need people like me.

So who is they?

They are the ones in control, the ones manipulating what your see and what you hear and what you are to think, so you would act and behave as they would like it.

And how do they like it?

They like you working for them.

They don’t want you doing your own thing, especially if it is at odds with their ambitions of keeping everyone deaf, dumb and blind, to quote Clawfinger, yet another band from my days of freedom dreams.

So I guess reality is just some people in an ivory tower, holding the reigns, controlling what goes into people and what comes out of them, keeping awareness at a pitiful low and tricking everyone into making them prosperous and abundantly rich.

And if they don’t like your creativity, hell, if they fear your ambitions, they will make sure you lack every sort of means to reach your goal. They will cripple you and poison you, they will make you sick and handicapped and that should not make you afraid.

That should make you angry.

It is truly a fight, it is truly a war.

You can feel it, if you care.

And I guess that’s why my friends from before, my fellow metalheads from the Camargue are now at their desks making money for their wife and kids and dogs, after having been good schoolchildren who learnt that opposition does not pay in this world.

You have to play along, then you get a piece of the pie.

Then you get the means.

The means for what?

To do your thing?

No!

To do their thing!

You only get the means if you are going to do their thing, if you are going to play their game, which is called ‘work for me’ or ‘make me rich’.

So if you want to do anything on this planet, you got to make someone else rich by working for him. Then you get more and more means to make them even richer.

Isn’t that nice?

And all the while it’s your head that you’re using, it’s your nerves that you’re stressing, it’s your lungs you have to keep healthy. That makes for a beautiful reality for those pulling the strings.

So what are you living for, Freddy Mercury might ask.

Are you living for you?

Are you fighting for your right, the Beasty Boys might ask.

Or are you just living to pay the bills?

Paying once again to the ones who pull the strings.

So you really are working hard for someone else, but the heart attack will be on you.

The doctor’s bills will be on you.

So why do I think I am different?

Because I work for the world.

I work for you, you poor blind bastard.

I work for your freedom, and I work for your lungs.

And I work for the One Heart that is the loving source of creation.

The great Mother Goddess who loves every creature evenly with all she has to give.

And I am trying to say to your boss that he’s gotta love you.

I am saying to the polluters that they’ve gotta love the Earth.

And I am saying to the killers that they gotta love their enemy.

So I am not into explosives or chemical warfare, I am into love, and that is a shitty job.

I couldn’t pay for a restaurant dinner with my girl, so I am not the best pick for a date.

I can hardly pay my own food, so don’t expect me to buy you a diamond ring.

I am not to good a deal to make because I haven’t made my deal myself.

In fact, I refuse to make a deal.

I refuse to use my brain, to quote Clawfiner again, for some heartless crook’s big fat wallet.

I will use my brain for freedom, for creativity, for respect, for love and well-being.

I will use it for peace and I will use it for ecstasy.

I will use it for joy and I will use it one more time for love.

And then one more time.

And some.

But this whole business of raping, poisoning and killing the Earth for the sake of profit, I mean, even the wealthy, what paradise do they think they are making for themselves?

And will they be proud?

And will you be proud that you helped them achieve it?

I hope so.

Refuse. Resist. Use your brain. Fight for your right. Take the power back.

Hell, it’s all been sung, but who cared about the lyrics.

Who cared about the spirit?

I guess they only cared about the beer André.

I’m sorry David.

So to me, the point is to open people’s eyes, to raise awareness and to promote consciousness. That is my calling as a psychoanalyst. To make the deep rise, not to keep the surface alive.

And I believe only the deep is capable of living in love, because love is what it is.

I am sure the people of the surface work hard to keep everything going smooth for as long as they can keep up their business, but it is not them I am working for.

I am working for the poor African farmer, and I am working for the fish in the sea.

And if you could see how all is one, you would see I am not working any less for you and you and more for you.

And your beloved dog as well of course.