Medicine

If you have read my book on the ‘magic of psychoanalysis’, you will have learned that I have used drugs for some time. A long time actually.

Weed.

And a bit of everything, but then, really only a bit.

Except for magic mushrooms.

Loved those.

Well, today I would like to talk a bit about drugs and addiction, and the Las Vegas they promise where everything is nice and shiny.

You see, I don’t believe people use drugs for some innocent, recreational reason. Or only because it is hip or dope to do. I believe people use drugs because there is so much pain in the world.

And when you smoke your first joint, you get to laugh a lot. And the people you are using it with are also laughing a lot. It is a fun world to land in, when everything is hilarious and funny. It is so different from the stale steel world of everyday boredom, sickness, misery and pain.

And this makes a big impression on you. You have found a way out, you have discovered a different planet. Planet dope. The planet where everybody laughs and everything is fun and funny. The planet where there are no problems, where there is no pain, the planet where everything you cannot handle any more is so far away and finally out of sight. It is a different world, and it is your biggest joy you have discovered it.

You see, in the ‘other’ world, on planet Earth, people are always hurting each other. Parents are slapping their children, lovers are cheating on each other, bosses are yelling at their employees, the taxes are ruthless, and everyday reality is a pain and a hassle to deal with. From getting up at six in the morning to pulling those friendly faces all day long to finally laying down to go to sleep at night when everything finally falls from your shoulders.

O no, wait, you still have to be this great and passionate lover for your wife at that point.

People are dragging on, dragging themselves endlessly and inside there is this little voice asking what’s it all for. Are you really happy? Is this what you want? Or do you just wanna lay down and die?

If you’re not happy, and the happy moment never seems to come, the moment where you are content and fulfilled, but you don’t really wanna lay down and die yet either, there is the other planet, the planet dope.

You can smoke a joint, sniff a line of coke, or have some mushrooms. If you’re serious about living on the other planet, you can even plant a needle in your veins and have some heroin. The other planet is a break from reality, and it is fun, and it is fulfilling. There is instant satisfaction, there is a way out of the drag, the hurt and the pain.

And who knows, you may even come to like this other planet so much that you become serious about moving.

Because living on Earth, there is just so much pain.

I am not talking about breaking your arm or dealing with a headache, I am talking about emotional pain. The hurt you feel when you are rejected, the contraction in your stomach when you get a blunt answer, the insanity when you are getting into a fight with your wife or with your parents, the feeling of never being good enough. Maybe the pain of being a loser, when you can’t cut it financially through the end of the month.

Then there are drugs, then there is planet dope, then there is a world you can visit where the pain is gone for a while, where reality is different. Everything is cool, everything is dope, everything is smooth and easy. You feel good, you relax and you are content.

As long as you have your drugs.

And the thing is, the longer you get used to feeling content, the less you are interested in satisfying your boss, in getting up in the morning, in making it in life. You just want your peace and your satisfaction. You just want your drugs.

The rest is not important, because you can deal with everything if only you can smoke that joint, snort that line, or hit that needle. It is all just not important.

And because you lose touch with planet Earth, because you want nothing more than to lose all connection to this painfilled reality, this original planet, from which you are running, starts hurting you more and more.

You get into more fights with your wife, your parents don’t understand you and just yell at you more, your girl leaves you for a better man, you lose your job, your dignity, your house. You have no more cash to spend on food because it all goes to the dope.

And still, you say to yourself, I have to get away. I do not want to kill myself but reality is too much for me to deal with. There are too many problems and there is too much pain. It is all too ugly and too messed up to see, it is too much misery to face today. I’ll just face it some other time and for today, I will smoke another joint, sniff five lines of coke and have some mushrooms. Maybe I can fix myself up with some more heroin. That will do it, that will do the job.

I just escape to my own private, secret planet.

Where everything is just fine as it is.

I am telling you this, because I do not believe drug addicts choose to be miserable. They have become this way on this planet, in this world where we are all responsible for one another. It is most often the most gentle, bright and sensitive ones who get caught up in this spiral and this mess. And to persecute them, and to blame them, and to yell at them and lock them up, how are we not only hurting them even more, giving them more of a desire to escape to their treasured planet B.

Because once you have discovered planet B, you do not want to go back. Hell no. You don’t want the pain and the misery to come knocking at your door again, and being there all over. You want to stay away from Earth, you want the eternal escape. You do not ever want to give up your stuff, you need it, you crave it, it is all that has meaning and importance to you. It is the most important thing in the world, the way out, the solution, the bliss and contentment, it is the reason you are still alive.

It is what is keeping you going.

So I’m just trying to say, instead of looking down on drug abusers, and stigmatizing them, and yelling at them and blaming them for not dealing with reality, would it not be better to understand why they act the way they do?

And would we not better start looking at the world and this planet and our common behavior and vice of hurting one another? Is it not blind to be hurting them even more, instead of getting the message they are sending us? That the world is just too harsh, that life is just too hard, that people are just hurting them so much, that life and god seem to have it in for them.

Drugs are a promise of heaven, drugs are a relief from this reality.

If it is relief from the pain junkies are seeking, why do we not try to hurt each other a little less. To be more kind, to be more compassionate and understanding. To smile a little more, to help a little more, to be there for each other in a gentler way, in a more uplifting way, in a more helpful way.

I am sure many a bright and sensitive being would find less reason to move to a planet B if we all enlightened this one.

Bless you.